365 days

For this to make sense, I must first give you an update to my first and last (until now that is) entry. It’s been several months since I’ve last shared and a lot has occurred, in fact everything that’s happened in between entries is what led me to this point, to 365 days.

In short summary, I was finally laid off from my job and subsequently hired on by a new company (yay!) where I've spent the last several months acclimating to the new (and may I just say, very hectic) rhythm of my life. During this time, I've survived 60 hour work weeks, Little D's 11th birthday party (12 pre-teen, hormonally charged and sugar enhanced kids... good times!) a brief hospital stay (I'm fine now, more on that in a future entry) and my very own 34th birthday!

Throughout it all the common theme has been a general feeling of unrest and an overall feeling of nervous and unspent energy. So much so, that I've often thought of it as how a caged animal must feel when pacing back and forth in their small space all the while knowing, seeing and feeling there is more out there... all within arms (or paws, ha!) reach. This of course brought up the question of why I feel caged, which in turn led to a lot of soul searching where I forced myself to take a very long and hard look at myself and evaluate. The answer is not pretty, but it is what it is as they say! (Somewhere my sister is cringing at the use of this expression) In short, my cage is me - I am my cage.

Whoa! Did I just really say that? Yes, I really did…and now, it's time to liberate myself. So here it goes: I am 34 years old and I am seriously overweight female. There. I said it. Deep breaths, hands steady. Fighting the urge to backspace and delete the seriously part of the statement. Let's face it though, it's the truth - it's not like people can't see it. So you'll have to pardon the cliché (but it really does apply to my previous analogy) when I say the truth will set me free! Can I get an Amen? LOL! Cracking myself up here, which is good, laughter is always better than tears. Laughter aside though, I’m trapped by my body and I want to be free and truth be told, I feel lighter already! It needed to be said, admitted and accepted as it's the only way to move forward.

With that, here it is: Yesterday I celebrated my 34th birthday and I'm giving myself the gift of time - 365 days to be exact. In a year's time, I plan to celebrate a better me, a lighter me, a healthier me. I invite you to join me in this journey of loss (the good kind) and of self-discovery. Most of all, I'll need your support to keep me going!

I leave you tonight with the details of my journey undefined, a smile on my face and excitement in my heart for I can't wait to get started!